修改E-mail 英语高手进

Dear Mr. Walters,
I am sorry that I haven't written a word to you for so long. The fact is my senior school year gets me really tired every day. I have to stay up late to finish my homework every night. Now I am on my summer holiday and I am happy to be able to do things I like.

I enjoy watching movies very much. And I have watched many old movies these days. I found I was deeply moved by the grace and beauty of Audrey Hepburn. I love all her movies, especially Roman Holiday, Funny Face and My Fair Lady. When I knew she was appointed a goodwill ambassador to the United Nations Children's Fund, I did feel her kindness and her love to the kids in the poor countries was so great.
What do you think of Audrey Hepburn? Who is your favorite actor/actress? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours

Richard

这是我用翻译机翻译的，你看看，自己修改下。改好再找人翻译吧~！

亲爱的先生。
很抱歉没有接触你这么久。我真的累的我在高中学业。我不得不熬夜完成每天做家庭作业。但是现在我暑假。我很高兴,因为我能做点什么,我喜欢在夏天的假期。
我喜欢看电影。我已经看了很多老电影。我发现我深受感动的优雅和美丽的奥黛丽·赫本。我爱她所有的电影,尤其是罗马假日,有趣的脸,我的女士。当我知道她被任命为亲善大使,联合国儿童基金会,我认为她是那么的善良和心爱的孩子在贫穷国家实在太棒了。
你怎么看待奥黛丽·赫本吗?谁是你最喜欢的演员吗?我期待着你的来信。
聆听
理查德。

一开始那句好像有点问题....
第一行尾"my"字可删去,学校不是你的,要记得啰~
第二行,英文中不用"have holiday",一般会用"on holiday/on vacation",所以这句不以改成"Now I am on summer holiday"
第三行你这样写也可以,但我会这样写:"I am very happy because I can do whatever I like during summer holiday"

Audrey Hepburn好像已经死了,你在第二段尾用"is"不是太恰当吧?还有在第二段最后那行应是"her"不是"his"吧?

总体而言写得不错,就是"and"太多了,而且"and"是一个连接词(conjunction),是连接两个从句(clause),你这样用就不太妥当了,你用的那些"and"都是可以删去的.要是非用不可,那你就把句号(full stop)改成逗号(comma)吧

希望我的答案可以帮到你

1.Sorry for not contacting with you for so long改成I'm sorry that I haven't contacted with you for so long.
2. I am really tired with the schoolwork in my senior school改成，As a senior schoole student,I am so busy and tired with the schoolwork that I have no free time to write to you.
3. stay up late finishing my homework every day改成stay up late to finishi my homework almost everyday.
4.But now I have summer holiday改成But now I have my summer vacation
5.I am very happy because I can do something I like in the summer holiday.中like改成prefer,并去掉最后的in the summer holiday
6.enjoy 用得不好
7.a lot of the old movies 去掉the
8.especially Roman Holiday中间加the
9.When I know she 中know 改knew
10. I think that she is so kind and his love to the kids in the poor countries is so great.中think改thought,is 均改was
11.What do you think of Audrey Hepburn中think of 改think about

总得来说，写得不地道。
错误基本上已经帮你改出来了。
大体上问题不大，可以接受。

希望对你有帮助。

Dear Mr Walters,

Sorry for not contacting you(with 删除) for so long. I am really tired of(with改为of) the schoolwork in my senior school.(and 删除) I have to stay up late finishing my homework every day. But now I am on my summer holiday which I enjoy very much because I can do something I like. (整句话句型变下会地道些)

I enjoy watching movies very much,(改为逗号)and I have watched a lot of (删除the) old movies these days. I found I was deeply moved by the grace and beauty of Audrey Hepburn. I love all her movies, especially Roman Holiday, Funny Face, My Fair Lady. When I know she was appointed a goodwill ambassador to the United Nations Children's Fund I think that she is so kind and her (his改成her)love to the kids in the poor countries is so great.
What do you think of Audrey Hepburn? Who is your favorite actor/actress? I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Respectfully
Richard